Tonight, I miss her

This was the eulogy, I have at my mum's funeral in February. As 2016 draws to a close and the world erupts in fireworks and parties, I miss her. She was amazing, and she was my mum

Joyce Christine Ellis was the first child of Laurence and Annie Lodge. Her two brothers John Godfrey and Jeffrey Elwyn completed the family group. Life started for Christine in Rotherham and ended in Sheffield. She was a Northern lass with traditional Yorkshire virtues of laughter, loyalty, common sense and steely determination.

She moved to Sheffield to marry her one true love, George, with whom she lived in Parkwood Springs and Shiregreen. George, together with their children, Roz, Simon and Kevin were the centre of her life, creating a home fashioned on love, security, kindness and generosity.

My brother and sister will each have a different perspective on the life of the remarkable lady that we call ‘Mum’ or to be precise ‘My Mum’. It was never ‘our’, always my. I am not sure whether that is an Ellism or whether it is Sheffieldish.

As children, mum was our rock. She was always there, ensuring that we were well turned out, even if some of the photographs from our childhood might cause both Simon and I to furrow our brows a little, dressed as we were in matching outfits from time to time, from cowboy suits to pink shirted page boys. We were kept safe and secure. This was an environment that allowed each of us to flourish. In times when money was tight, there was always more than enough. She encouraged us work hard, both in and outside of school.

Mum was steadfastly loyal to us. That was in her nature. She was thoroughly supportive, even though I suspect she did not always think we were making the best of choices. That is the heart of all mothers. It certainly was our Mum. She was loyal, loving and devoted to Dad. To say that he was the love of her life is at one at the same time thoroughly true and a glorious understatement. Mum was proud to be our Dad’s wife, partner and soulmate.

She also had lots of traditional common sense. I am not sure which of us have inherited that. She knew what she wanted. That might be a way of saying she was a little stubborn, but more than that it means that she was always scrupulously fair

I asked Ros about Mum’s hobbies. She remembered her love of card making: decoupage I believe that it is called. Mum was always good with her hands, knitting jumpers which I think the three of us immediately can see us ourselves in… I think the loss of the use of her hands was the most difficult thing for her. It robbed her of the creativity that she enjoyed.

Now of course Mum’s steely determination has been very evident in the last few years. She coped with my Dad’s death some 20 years ago – more than coped. She delighted in her four grandchildren, Jacob, Ruth, Isaac and Shaun, knowing no partiality between them, enjoying her time with them and always attentive to how they were getting on. She always included and always embraced. But she also had a number of significant health issues that would have debilitated others far more than they did our mum. She had an innate ability to always bounce back, and if her recovery did not bring her back to where she was before, there was no complaint just an embrace of the possible.

Both Simon and I would agree that this was possible because of the love and care showered on Mum by our baby sister who has grown immeasurably in the last few years. She has kept Mum going, and your brothers will not forget it, nor the constancy and consistency to Mum shown by Jeff in honouring a promise made to our Dad shortly before he passed away.

Mum was a loving, kind and generous person. She was also woman of deep faith. She was a Christian woman, encouraging the three of us to explore our place in the world and faith for ourselves. She was deeply committed to the local churches where she lived, serving as steward, council member and warden in Shiregreen. She never forgot this.

In the end her passing was very quick mercifully, although Guillaume Barrie, strokes, Alzeimher’s and cancer had all taken their toll. It was a delight for us to spend her last weekend as a family together. In the end she wanted to go to be with Dad. A light has gone for now. The world will to our family and friends lose some of its colour for a while.

She was an amazing lady. She was our Mum.

May she rest in peace and one day rise in glory.

So tonight, I am praying for those who will want to raise their glasses to absent, and not feel able to do so. I will do it for you.

May 2017 bring comfort and joy